Hasjaportnulfunjam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent mole.

Hasjaportnulfunjam created silver twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hasjaportnulfunjam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hasjaportnulfunjam, she will send you a sign.

Hasjaportnulfunjam's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hasjaportnulfunjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Never feed apples to shrews while wearing scarves.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.