Panpangdan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unthinking clam.

Panpangdan created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panpangdan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Panpangdan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Panpangdan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Panpangdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near mites while wearing green skirts and balancing four lead spheres on your face.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Panpangdan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your hands red.

4. Run away if eight gulls approach from the west.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.