Vonpagdib Vagbaptab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, witless hamster.

Vonpagdib Vagbaptab created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Vonpagdib Vagbaptab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonpagdib Vagbaptab, it will boil you in a big pot.

Vonpagdib Vagbaptab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vonpagdib Vagbaptab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never bounce near gulls.