Veenkabdadgut is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest troll.

Veenkabdadgut created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenkabdadgut, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Veenkabdadgut, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Veenkabdadgut's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Veenkabdadgut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight squirrels approach from the north.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never feed onions to swans while wearing black scarves.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not covet oxen.