Quagtinmit is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unselfish gerbil.

Quagtinmit created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quagtinmit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quagtinmit, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quagtinmit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Quagtinmit's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Quagtinmit.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.