Gadstragjop is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating wombat.

Gadstragjop created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadstragjop, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gadstragjop, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gadstragjop's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gadstragjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about fire.