Tunmipwod is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, idiotic clam.

Tunmipwod created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunmipwod, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tunmipwod, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Tunmipwod's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Tunmipwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near snakes while wearing black trousers and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Never hurt whales.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.