Lagstigfaghen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless centipede.

Lagstigfaghen created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagstigfaghen, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lagstigfaghen, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lagstigfaghen's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lagstigfaghen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Lagstigfaghen on top of all buildings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.