Quartflagtam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair toad.

Quartflagtam created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartflagtam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quartflagtam, she will turn you into a tree.

Quartflagtam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Quartflagtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near pigs while wearing green kilts.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quartflagtam.

3. Run away from purple badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.