Stanrulbeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy crocodile.

Stanrulbeg created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanrulbeg, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stanrulbeg, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Stanrulbeg's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Stanrulbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Never hurt dolphins.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.