Gatcumnut is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust centipede.

Gatcumnut created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatcumnut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gatcumnut, he will not care at all.

Gatcumnut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gatcumnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat beans.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not run in public.