Pitdusshogflishoggud is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, temperamental bear.

Pitdusshogflishoggud created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Pitdusshogflishoggud, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pitdusshogflishoggud, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pitdusshogflishoggud's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pitdusshogflishoggud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never run near snakes.

3. Pitdusshogflishoggud loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.