Gatcebkin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, staggering badger.

Gatcebkin created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatcebkin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gatcebkin, it will turn you into a mouse.

Gatcebkin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gatcebkin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Never skip in holy places.