Nillnartgem is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, flying bat.

Nillnartgem created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillnartgem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nillnartgem, it will turn you into a snail.

Nillnartgem's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nillnartgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow scarves.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Never talk about nebulae.