Lipflowtonkpop is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered hummingbird.

Lipflowtonkpop created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipflowtonkpop, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lipflowtonkpop, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lipflowtonkpop's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lipflowtonkpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. You must pray to Lipflowtonkpop six times a day.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.