Xuckcussved is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sapient ant.

Xuckcussved created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckcussved, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xuckcussved, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xuckcussved's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Xuckcussved's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never jump near seals.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Never write about ultrasonics.