Liprulbig Zigfetxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody frog.

Liprulbig Zigfetxuc created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Liprulbig Zigfetxuc, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Liprulbig Zigfetxuc, he will boil you in a big pot.

Liprulbig Zigfetxuc's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Liprulbig Zigfetxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help sick nematodes.