Kopcinmis is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witless gerbil.

Kopcinmis created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopcinmis, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kopcinmis, he will curse you with boils.

Kopcinmis' most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Kopcinmis' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Kopcinmis in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.