Dognadben is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, quiet snail.

Dognadben created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Dognadben, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dognadben, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dognadben's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dognadben's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dognadben.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always take life seriously.