Fidgomjig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest butterfly.

Fidgomjig created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fidgomjig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidgomjig, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fidgomjig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Fidgomjig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fidgomjig six times a day.

2. Never bounce near whales.

3. Never feed garlic to horses while wearing turquoise corsets.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fidgomjig.