Gebfotjarn Ranpagdon is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, happy yak.

Gebfotjarn Ranpagdon created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebfotjarn Ranpagdon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gebfotjarn Ranpagdon, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gebfotjarn Ranpagdon's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gebfotjarn Ranpagdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never paint your feet gray.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.