Stafingcut is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unfair cat.

Stafingcut created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafingcut, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stafingcut, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Stafingcut's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Stafingcut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Stafingcut must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always look after injured tapirs.

5. Never feed corn to monkeys while wearing kilts.