Fasnarlat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable bear.

Fasnarlat created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasnarlat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fasnarlat, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fasnarlat's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Fasnarlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.