Jenfotcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate dingo.

Jenfotcuss created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenfotcuss, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jenfotcuss, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jenfotcuss' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jenfotcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Do not drink alcohol.