Gofcubnig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, wise snake.

Gofcubnig created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gofcubnig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gofcubnig, it will turn you into a rock.

Gofcubnig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gofcubnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn kilts.

2. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help nematodes.