Kadtomtifrut is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful octopus.

Kadtomtifrut created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadtomtifrut, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kadtomtifrut, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kadtomtifrut's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kadtomtifrut's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Always obey Kadtomtifrut's priests.

3. Run away from cyan pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Run away if six mice approach from the west.