Wabbugleg Volbuttifwab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, generous eagle.

Wabbugleg Volbuttifwab created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabbugleg Volbuttifwab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabbugleg Volbuttifwab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wabbugleg Volbuttifwab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Wabbugleg Volbuttifwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never feed bread to snakes while wearing purple shoes.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.