Lad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent bird.

Lad created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lad, he will turn you into a frog.

Lad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Never hop in holy places.