Tigvonklig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive donkey.

Tigvonklig created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigvonklig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tigvonklig, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tigvonklig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tigvonklig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not eat figs.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Never eat apples.