Kinsigfab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome turtle.

Kinsigfab created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinsigfab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kinsigfab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kinsigfab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kinsigfab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Pray towards the west.