Nurcamvanbass is a god.

She takes the form of a large, sage goat.

Nurcamvanbass created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcamvanbass, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurcamvanbass, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurcamvanbass' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Nurcamvanbass' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about optics near bats while wearing purple shirts.