Bisskarnull is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid centaur.

Bisskarnull created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisskarnull, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bisskarnull, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bisskarnull's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bisskarnull's Holy Commandments

1. Bisskarnull must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Never talk about spacetime near tortoises while wearing fawn rings.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing orange shoes and balancing four silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.