Fadpagquim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful meerkat.

Fadpagquim created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fadpagquim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fadpagquim, he will come to you in dreams.

Fadpagquim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fadpagquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Run away if five dogs approach from the north.

3. Do not eat figs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.