Gigfodcimdab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful jackal.

Gigfodcimdab created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Gigfodcimdab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gigfodcimdab, he will turn you into a snail.

Gigfodcimdab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gigfodcimdab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never feed turnips to ducks while wearing skirts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Gigfodcimdab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never eat bark.