Banstanquat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody goose.

Banstanquat created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Banstanquat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Banstanquat, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Banstanquat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Banstanquat's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Banstanquat seven times a day.

2. Never leap near mice.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Banstanquat on top of all buildings.

4. Horses are not to be trusted.

5. Do not jump in public.