Nuttabcem is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous elephant.

Nuttabcem created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttabcem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nuttabcem, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nuttabcem's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nuttabcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Nuttabcem in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

5. Never speak at dusk.