Sidnelyarl Tiklatyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent unicorn.

Sidnelyarl Tiklatyarp created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidnelyarl Tiklatyarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sidnelyarl Tiklatyarp, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sidnelyarl Tiklatyarp's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Sidnelyarl Tiklatyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing violet rings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.