Gessdoblab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, wise whale.

Gessdoblab created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessdoblab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gessdoblab, he will manifest in front of you.

Gessdoblab's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gessdoblab's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with red.

2. Erect seven iron sculptures of Gessdoblab on top of important buildings.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.