Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent scorpion.

Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam created the Tadpole Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam, she will curse you with boils.

Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam.

2. Put Abdudzenbem Ortnibjam first in all things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.