Bessyarpmin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest gnu.

Bessyarpmin created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessyarpmin, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bessyarpmin, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bessyarpmin's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bessyarpmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. You must pray to Bessyarpmin three times a day.

3. Retreat if seven rats approach from the south.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about archaea.