Nurlfetciss is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sapient lobster.

Nurlfetciss created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfetciss, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurlfetciss, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nurlfetciss' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nurlfetciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Nurlfetciss in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nurlfetciss on top of all buildings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Put Nurlfetciss first in all things.