Gebbissgum is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent crow.

Gebbissgum created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebbissgum, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gebbissgum, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gebbissgum's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gebbissgum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gebbissgum first in all things.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never paint your neck indigo.