Catquarthak Cumbutwik is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, caring dryad.

Catquarthak Cumbutwik created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catquarthak Cumbutwik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Catquarthak Cumbutwik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Catquarthak Cumbutwik's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Catquarthak Cumbutwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Put Catquarthak Cumbutwik first in all things.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Always help sick rats.

5. Never touch oil while blessed.