Narlkipcid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, omniscient turtle.

Narlkipcid created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Narlkipcid, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Narlkipcid, she will remove you from existence.

Narlkipcid's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Narlkipcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow eagles to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about dark matter near squirrels while wearing blue shirts and balancing four iron spheres on your chest.