Parkwigdubsterquimwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, able jaguar.

Parkwigdubsterquimwik created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkwigdubsterquimwik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkwigdubsterquimwik, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Parkwigdubsterquimwik's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Parkwigdubsterquimwik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not eat corn.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.