Fagvegteenjap is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic hippopotamus.

Fagvegteenjap created parasitic wasps two years ago.

If you believe in Fagvegteenjap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fagvegteenjap, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fagvegteenjap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fagvegteenjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not keep four cats in a large pit.

5. Do not wear trousers marked with purple.