Vagortdappas is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omnipotent ant.

Vagortdappas created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagortdappas, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vagortdappas, it will destroy your home planet.

Vagortdappas' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vagortdappas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to goats while wearing blue hats.