Gess is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ruthless hummingbird.

Gess created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gess, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gess, he will curse you with boils.

Gess' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gess' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gess six times a day.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Never talk about ants.