Lipvanbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a large, caring lion.

Lipvanbiss created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lipvanbiss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lipvanbiss, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lipvanbiss' most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Lipvanbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. You must pray to Lipvanbiss four times a day.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Lipvanbiss' name in vain.