Armzogyim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured monkey.

Armzogyim created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armzogyim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Armzogyim, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Armzogyim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Armzogyim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant green sculpture of Armzogyim in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat bark.