Wiphon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, blissful pigeon.

Wiphon created the Virgo Supercluster three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiphon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wiphon, he will turn you into a tree.

Wiphon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Wiphon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Do not speak about grapes.