Fidquagbet is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, narcissistic hummingbird.

Fidquagbet created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidquagbet, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidquagbet, she will jump up and down on your head.

Fidquagbet's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fidquagbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about special relativity near badgers while wearing black dresses and balancing eight lead spheres on your hands.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. You must never eat oranges.